The story is as follows. Claw and StarKirby have discussed how Stephen is NOT actually who he claims to be. He is really from Canada, and all the actors in his video are hired bums. After figuring out Stephen's ability to steal air, the two were suddenly attacked by the menace. This is that story. Due to technical difficulties, this is all we were able to recover. At this point, StarKirby was suffocated by Stephen, and had been quit from IRC. He suddenly logs back in mysteriously... * StarKirby has joined #mestephen Claw: O: StarKirby: Hello Claw. StarKirby: This ISN'T StarKirby anymore >:) Claw: are you...a ghost? StarKirby: No...It's Stephen Claw: oh my god please don't pull my toes when i sleep at night StarKirby: I've read your conversation Claw: oh **** StarKirby: YOU KNOW TOO MUCH Claw: hey come on buddy Claw: i was jus y'know i heard some rumors that OTHER people were talking about StarKirby: But you believed them! StarKirby: And now I will come for you next. StarKirby: I'll be there in a few hours! Stay right there! Claw: yeah right you'll never get through my steel plated house Claw: i've got like vampires and a big dude waiting at the front StarKirby: Oh, we'll see! StarKirby: We will see! StarKirby: Okay see you later! Claw: oh man i hope he doesn't get past the lake monster StarKirby: Uh what happened StarKirby: Oh wow Claw: SK? StarKirby: Yeah StarKirby: I faked suffocation StarKirby: He thought I was dead StarKirby: So, like, he's coming to kill you, right Claw: man he's comin over Claw: i'm screwed Claw: it's okay, i told the forum the truth StarKirby: Okay, at least they're safe StarKirby: You should, like, run or something Claw: i can't...he's stealing air from me Claw: just a little bit though so that it's mildly uncomfortable when i move StarKirby: Oh no! Claw: on top of that i have to use the bathroom O: Claw: do i...do i just go in the chair? StarKirby: Oh shoot, that'll be hard StarKirby: You may have to Claw: alright but don't look * StarKirby covers his eyes Claw: oh god Claw: someone is banging on the door only like some kind of insane air stealing theif could StarKirby: It MIGHT be him... StarKirby: Or the pizza delievery man Claw: i'll have Mr. Kitty DX answer the door * Claw calls kitty DX to open the door StarKirby: :O Claw: OH HOLY- * Claw has left #mestephen * Claw has joined #mestephen StarKirby: Snake? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Claw: sup SK StarKirby: Uh hi whatsup Claw: yeah. i just killed claw. Claw: this is stephen StarKirby: Oh god! Why pizzaman! StarKirby: Oh, stephen Claw: i'm coming back over there to get ya. StarKirby: Oh no you won't Claw: Then I will use my magic air suckilizer to steal the earth's oxygen and keep it all for myself! Mwahahaha you'll never stop meh! StarKirby: OH GOD StarKirby: That was your plan all along, wasn't it! Claw: bwahahaha StarKirby: But how will YOU live? Claw: I will make a giant fart bubble in which i'll put the air in and i'll be totally fine Claw: then i can live and eat my own farts for the rest of my life! StarKirby: You madman! StarKirby: How could you betray your friends! Claw: Mad? oh no, I'm going to be quite happy! I'm doing a happy dance right now! StarKirby: THE HAPPY DANCE? WHEN DOES YOUR INSANITY EVER END Claw: IT DOESN'T OL' CHAP IT DOESN'T I WILL MAKE A GIANT THRONE OUT OF THE BONES OF ALL THOSE WHO DENY ME AND IT'LL BE SO FRIGGIN COOL JUST CHILLIN OUT ON MY GIANT SKULL THRONE ALL DAY StarKirby: My bones?! StarKirby: Your bones?! StarKirby: Bone's bones?! Claw: It doesn't stop there! Claw: After I have my rockin death throne and fart house i'll create the Death Dorito to conquer other planets across the solar system. * Claw pushes stephen out of the way StarKirby: Claw! Claw: Hah, he didn't kill me all the way! StarKirby: Well now he knows! Claw: my legs are just kinda broken in like 50 pieces but i always wanted robot legs anyway because lets face it, they're just cool Claw: He's running away now! Claw: i dunno where he's going he just ran up the streetj StarKirby: What the StarKirby: Oh, cool, robot legs huh Claw: oh yeah they're all the rage now. StarKirby: Are they pricey? Claw: i could like kick someones face off Claw: yeah pretty much so i might have to settle for like robot thighs or something StarKirby: Ah Claw: i mean i could still nub someones face off StarKirby: Well its a start Claw: yeah at least that much StarKirby: Yeah, no one wants a faceful of robot thighs Claw: i'll totally get stephen back if it's the last thing i do... Claw: now i have to get robot thighs StarKirby: Where can you find em? StarKirby: eBay? Claw: I WILL....DEFEAT HIM....IN A BATTLE....IN WHICH WE USE SPECIAL MOVES BUT IN ORDER TO USE THEM WE HAVE TO SAY THEM OUT LOUD SO THAT EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT WE'RE DOING BUT SO THAT IT STILL WORKS Claw: meh i think the general hospital nearby has like cases of em Claw: wait Claw: i have an idea StarKirby: Good idea! StarKirby: ah. Claw: so crazy... Claw: it probably won't work Claw: BUT WE MUST TRY IT ANYWAY StarKirby: I'm game for that kinda idea StarKirby: ENLIGHTEN ME, OH CLAWED ONE Claw: let's break my body, head to toe and then get my entire body replaced with a rockin robotic prostetic body in which i will use in the final battle with stephen Claw: then after i beat him i could like polish myself and go to birthday parties and like be a mascot and be all "hay just because i'm a robot doesn't mean i don't have feelings baybeh." * StarKirby sheds a tear StarKirby: That idea is...so...beautiful Claw: thank you... Claw: SK...will you bash my head open? StarKirby: *sniffs* Sure * StarKirby bashes Claw's head open Claw: thanks man- StarKirby: Okay uhm... StarKirby: Now I need to...break the rest of the body... * StarKirby bashes Claw with several oversides utensils * Claw leg twitches StarKirby: Okay...now to get the robot body. StarKirby: Wait. I don't have one * StarKirby checks eBay. Three days later he recieves a robotic prostetic body and places it under Claw's skin, and places the brain into the roboto StarKirby: Okay, uhm, did it work? Claw: This is... Claw: Claw 2.0 StarKirby: Sweet StarKirby: Wait hold on Claw: READY TO KICK ARSE * StarKirby removes Claw's left hand and replaces it with a claw Claw: yeah...that's right StarKirby: NOW YOU ARE TRUELY THE CLAQW StarKirby: CLAW Claw: I WILL GET HIM NOW Claw: WAIT Claw: maybe i'll hang out a little longer StarKirby: Alright cool StarKirby: How's the robot body feel? Claw: i'll like make him wait and stuff and POed at me cause hehe cause it's funny Claw: kinda funky StarKirby: heh StarKirby: Wait, since you're a robot, you won't need to breathe Claw: like i just jumped into a barrel of tentacle porno StarKirby: HE CANT STEAL YOUR AIR StarKirby: Ew StarKirby: That IS funky Claw: yeah...:/ StarKirby: Hows that claw workin out? Claw: kinda bad Claw: i keep shaking peoples hands but they get all mad StarKirby: Yeah, it hurts them right? Claw: wait i have to do a quick mission for the momtron Claw: "Empty the Garbage" StarKirby: oh alright * StarKirby 's nonexsistant cellphone rings and he answers StarKirby: Uh StarKirby: Claw, it's Stephen StarKirby: He says he's coming StarKirby: And that you're robot body is no match for his powers * Claw clenches fist Claw: let him come StarKirby: Im not sure how he found out StarKirby: He wants to meet you at his battlegrounds.. StarKirby: The elementry school playground StarKirby: LETS GO KICK SOME AIRTHEIF BUTT Claw: *fire in eyes* * StarKirby jumps into the batmobile Claw: *battle music plays* Claw: Well here we are...the elementry school playground... * StarKirby jumps out of the batmobile because we're already there Claw: looks almost evil at night * StarKirby is now known as Xfisjmg Xfisjmg: Claw! Xfisjmg: It's me! Claw: i'm ready for you this time! * Xfisjmg ties a shirt around his head Claw: Not only do I have the power of my robot body that SK painstakingly stole but also a full pack of Jack Link's beef jerky Xfisjmg: Beef jerky can't save you now! Claw: I won't lose... Claw: I can't lose... * Xfisjmg pulls out a ketchup gun Claw: For the sake of an internet community...THERE'S JUST NO WAI * Xfisjmg fires ketchup at Claw...THE PURPLE KIND Claw: Agh ugh oh! Claw: Hmm...little do you realize... Claw: Purple is my favorite color! Xfisjmg: What! No! * Xfisjmg 's ketchup has no effect on Claw! * Claw retaliates by kicking dirt at Xfisjmg1 * Xfisjmg coughs Xfisjmg: No! There is dirt contaiminating the air! Xfisjmg: Wait! * Xfisjmg runs off, unseen past the cloud o' dirt Claw: Grrr where'd he get to... * Xfisjmg hides in the slide, powering up his special move Claw: stephen when i find you ima knock yo socks off Claw: cause like it's my battle music playing and i'm strong now * Claw searches inside the spider dome * Xfisjmg jumps onto the monkey bars behind claw and goes into a fury of kicks! Claw: uh ah oof hwar! Claw: ugh ugh ugh ugh! * Xfisjmg jumps down, laughing Claw: Aw *cough* blagh pain! Claw: crap his fart jutsu is too much... Claw: he's too powered up from eating his own farts... Claw: my only hope...my only hope would be....to summon the forbidden powers * Xfisjmg pulls out a remote and pressed the little red button Claw: *gasp* Xfisjmg: You better hurry, claw. Soon my air suckilizer will suck all the worlds are...leaving only a toxic fart behind ::D Xfisjmg: world's air* Claw: Very well then...i'm sorry it had to be like this. Xfisjmg: Huh? Claw: I thought when we first met that we could hang out and watch your videos together...but i see that i was a fool Claw: AND THAT YOU ONLY WANTED TO EAT MY NACHOS AND STEAL MY AIR Claw: LAVOS Claw: GIYGAS Claw: GET IM' * Xfisjmg laughs and eats chips Xfisjmg: Wait, what Xfisjmg: NOOOOOOO! Claw: Lavos shoot your porcupine missle thingies at him! Xfisjmg: Auuugh! No! Pain! My weakness! Claw: Giygas say stuff that doesn't make sense and kill his party! Xfisjmg: NO! I CANT GRASP THE TRUE FORM OF THIS ATTACK! Claw: Yes...i knew this secret power SK told me would come in handy one day Xfisjmg: CURSE YOU CLAAAAAAAAAW! Claw: *Xfis suffered a mortal blow! * Xfisjmg is knocked back, gasping, on the verge of death Claw: You HP is rolling stephen...any last words before Giygas says some more freaky stuff? Xfisjmg: You may have...defeated...me...but you still have to...stop my...machine... Xfisjmg: You will...never...find it... Claw: *gasp* Claw: The machine! SK what'll we do?! * Xfisjmg got hurt and collapsed... * Xfisjmg lost the battle * Xfisjmg is now known as StarKirby Claw: *ah sweet delicious EXP* StarKirby: Uh! I dunno! Where would he hide an air suckilizer! Claw: Hmm if I were him...I'd hide it... Claw: O: Claw: IN MY DOG'S BUTTHOLE Claw: but wait Claw: he has cats... Claw: I see a major structural flaw with this idea... StarKirby: Yeah... StarKirby: The fridge, maybe? Claw: possibly... Claw: when the little light is turned off, it actually reveals his devilish machine StarKirby: Of course!@ * StarKirby dashes to Stephen's home * Claw hitches a ride to stephen's home * StarKirby runs inside and opens the fridge StarKirby: Okay, where is that machine Claw: Sorry mr and mrs stephen but your son was evil and we have to kill your fridge now. Claw: okay we have to figure out how to turn that light off without closing the fridge StarKirby: Uhm...take out the bulb? * StarKirby grabs the bulb but its hot Claw: right get it Claw: There it is! Claw: oh my god... StarKirby: Oh lord... * StarKirby picks up the machine StarKirby: Okay, we have to disconnect the wires! Claw: But there are so many... * StarKirby opens the machine and sees 50 wires running every which way StarKirby: Oh shoot Claw: there's like a red one and like a blue one and like a red and blue one Claw: maybe if we cut them all?! StarKirby: Hey heres one single yellow one StarKirby: No! That's what he WANTS us to think! Claw: hmm suspicious... Claw: Wait! * StarKirby turns the machine upside down and finds instructions on how to shut off the machine Claw: Yellow is the color of nahcos and stephen likes nachos therefore if we cut that wire it'll do something he wants which is the opposite of what we want. StarKirby: Of course. Claw: that bein' the case let's follow the instructions StarKirby: And these instructions are in spanish! Claw: crap! StarKirby: Uhm... Claw: we should like... Claw: like i mean... Claw: we should...use babelfish to translate StarKirby: What does 'le air suckilizer' mean?! StarKirby: okay good idea StarKirby: Wait does your robot body come with internet? Claw: i think so Claw: check my butt comp StarKirby: Okay try to look up the site StarKirby: Oh right * StarKirby looks at Claw's buttcomp and searches for babel fish StarKirby: Gah, this thing runs on dialup?! Claw: i swear i'll get DSL someday! StarKirby: Okay okay... StarKirby: Hold on...translating Claw: To air to suckilizer to him? Claw: what the heck does that mean? StarKirby: I dont know! StarKirby: None of this makes sense! Claw: curse you babel fish we trusted you! * Claw screams as said scream echoes into a distancing shot from the ground to the air Claw: wait...i'm getting an idea... StarKirby: Oh, shoot, I didn't type any of the little pronounciation things above the letters! No wonder this is all garbage Claw: Suckilizer... StarKirby: Whoa, cool zoom out Claw: Suck-ilizer Claw: Suck... Claw: To air to suckilizer to him... Claw: Him refers to stephen...suckilizer refers to suckilizer....and air refers to air... Claw: sucking away all the air would totally suck for everyone... Claw: IN CONCLUSION StarKirby: Of course! * StarKirby disconnects the green wire Claw: We have to find something equally or more Awesome to get rid of all of the Suck! StarKirby: Wait, that just shut off the display clock, its still going Claw: crap StarKirby: Oh! Of course! StarKirby: Whats as awesome as this thing sucks?! Claw: hmm...dragons are pretty awesome Claw: flame throwers are pretty awesome as well StarKirby: What about a flamethrowing dragon? Claw: that could work...just where do we find one? StarKirby: ...eBay? StarKirby: No. Claw: we could make one... Claw: but i'll need magic play doh StarKirby: H StarKirby: n * StarKirby belchs out some magic playdo Claw: O: StarKirby: ...don't ask me why I have that. Claw: awesome Claw: why do you- eh hehe * StarKirby hands Claw half the playdog StarKirby: doh* Claw: Anyway! StarKirby: Okay lets get to work * Claw goes into play doh mode Claw: Shape the head...the tail...then... StarKirby: The spikes and the legs and... StarKirby: Okay lets put it all together Claw: *bam StarKirby: Uh StarKirby: It's a flamingo Claw: flamingos aren't dragons... Claw: this might be bad Claw: but wait! StarKirby: well, if it breathes fire, it'll be awesome Claw: yeah... Claw: *flaming comes to life* Claw: Flamingo can you help us kill this machine with your awesome?! StarKirby: FLAMINGo...haha! Claw: Flamingo: Of course...not only do I breathe fire but my feathers are sharp as a million knives and plus I have like spiked boots on Claw: Sic it boyee * StarKirby turns on some crazy techno music Claw: *Flamingo starts spitting up flames and fanning it's wings in front of suckilizer* * Claw bobs head to the crazy beat * StarKirby watches as the machine begins to malfunction, numbers flying up and down, and it suddenly explodes Claw: Yeah! StarKirby: We did it! * StarKirby high fives Claw's claw Claw: er might wanna watch that Claw: AT ANY RATE StarKirby: er yeah Claw: we totally did it StarKirby: we killed stephen, stopped him from creating a fartbubblebonethrone empire, and saved the world's air Claw: i feel awesome right about now StarKirby: Same Claw: but how long until someone else comes to threaten the world... * StarKirby keeps the Flamingo as a pet StarKirby: No one knows Claw: Who cares? Claw: Dance partay * Claw is still bobbing his head and does the robot * StarKirby turns up the music and tons of Mestephen.comgoers show up and DAAANCE Claw: One things for sure...when they do come back...we will be ready...TO KICK BUTT Claw: *ROLL CREDITS* Claw: O: StarKirby: Wow. StarKirby: That was crazy. Claw: that took up like...2 hours... StarKirby: And all we tried to do was act crazy Claw: best text action movie evar